I believe in a thing called Love
by Anneko
Summary: Of dinners, mixed signals, confusions and a whole lotta loving in the end.


**I believe in a thing called Love**, a _Kuroshitsuji_ fanfic

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, don't own.

**Author's note:** I love this one. I don't know, I just do. Half-written during classes. Hope you like it! :D

* * *

It's in the way you want me

It's in the way you hold me

The way you show me just what love's made of

It's in the way we make love

**Shania Twain** - _"You've Got a Way"_

It was well past ten when William left the shinigami headquarters that day. He should have left at seven, like everyone else, but there had been some kind of problem earlier (as usual), and he was stuck in the office doing paperwork. He sighed and pinched his nose, feeling an upcoming headache. There was a storm brewing, and all he wanted to do was to get home, have dinner, and go to bed.

William was sharing an apartment with Grell. Something about budget cuts and shinigamis that arrived at the academy at the same time living together. William sighed again, remembering that it was Grell's turn to cook. He hoped that he would make something slightly more edible than last time. Grell could cook a few things, and some of them were actually delicious, but more often than not he decided to experiment and try to do new dishes...and that usually didn't turn out very well. So William prayed to whatever god there was that Grell would make something normal and edible. Like fish and chips - that he could cook rather nicely.

He was soaking wet by the time he got to their apartment. The fireplace was lit, which made the house cozy and welcoming, and he relaxed his shoulders as soon as he felt the warmth surround him. With or without Grell, he liked the apartment. It had this homely feeling to it. So he hung his trench coat in the coat rack, loosened his tie and went to his room to change. He figured Grell was in the kitchen and didn't hear him come in - usually he'd be all over him, wanting to take off his coat and asking him about work. "Like a proper wife", were his words when William confronted him about it.

He changed into more comfortable pants and shirt, leaving the top two buttons undone, slipping on a pair of slippers on his way out of his room. He headed towards the kitchen, only to be distracted by a red shadow on the living room couch, facing the fireplace.

"Grell?" He called out, wondering why the other one was there. He circled the couch to see that the red reaper was fast asleep on the couch, a bunch of reports scattered on the couch and the coffee table in front of him. There were dark circles under his eyes, partially hidden by the shadow of his eyelashes, his glasses had fallen - or he had just taken them off - and were hanging in front of his chest, and his mouth was slightly open in a way that you couldn't see his shark-like teeth. His delicate frame only made him look even more feminine, and the way his hair was cascading down his shoulders and pooling around him on the couch was mesmerizing. It was - and this William would never dare to say out loud - adorable, actually, watching a sleeping Grell. He looked so innocent and docile...almost fragile, even, with those skinny arms and long legs of his.

William blushed when he realized what kind of thoughts he was having about Grell. Only then did he realize that Grell had been working on the reports he had scolded him about not too long ago. Was that what he had been working on those past two or three nights, when he saw light coming from the gap under Grell's door and heard him shuffle papers around in his room? Was that why he had seemed so tired lately?

It made William crack a small smile. He headed back to his room and returned with a blanket, which he covered Grell with after picking up the papers around him and piling them neatly on the coffee table. Carefully not to wake him up, he took his hand to his forehead and brushed a few strands of hair away from Grell's face. He looked so kissable...

William, William, William! Get a hold of yourself, what are you thinking!, his mind shouted, making him snatch his hand away and stand upright. So he made his way to the kitchen, figuring he'd make dinner himself. Grell deserved it. He'd wake him when it was ready.

He didn't take long to cook rice and chicken for both of them. He was pretty much done when a lightning flashed outside the window, followed by a loud thunder. The lights flickered and died after that. Great, just great. Good thing William was done cooking, though.

He lit a candle on the kitchen table, where they usually ate, and set the plates and silverware for two. That done, he went back to the dimly lit living room to wake Grell up. The fire in the fireplace was almost dying, casting a reddish-orange glow on the sleeping reaper. The shadows it cast on him were just as enticing. The contrast between the warm tones and the black shadows made it look like a painting. It took him a while to admit it, but truth be told, Grell was pretty.

No, not just _pretty_. Damn, he was _gorgeous_.

Really, he was. Even William had to admit that. The way all the red complimented his green eyes, the way his hair framed his face and fell down his back and shoulders, the way his fingers were long and slender, just like his legs, the way his whole body was sculpted... He was...incredibly beautiful.

But now wasn't the time to be admiring Grell's physical appearance. William, honestly, get a grip, his mind said. It wasn't like he hadn't had those thoughts before, though...

"Grell?" He called out again, laying a hand on the redhead's shoulder and gently shaking him. "Grell." He repeated, a little louder this time. This time Grell stirred and his deep green eyes fluttered open. William would forever be in love with the way those two-toned eyes went with all the red. As soon as the effeminate realized what was going on, though, he jolted up, sitting upright.

"W-Will! Argh, I must've fallen asleep! What time is it?" He said, fumbling around his chest for the glasses and slipping them back on.

"It's half past eleven." William informed, watching as Grell looked around to take in his surroundings - much neater than he had left them - until he got up and looked back at William.

"I'm sorry. I...didn't make dinner yet." He said, looking apologetic. William just shook his head.

"It's fine. I made it myself."

"Oh." Grell answered, sitting back down and picking up the reports again.

"...Well, are you coming or not? It's going to get cold if you make it wait long." Grell looked at William, surprised.

"You made dinner for me too?"

"You're not hungry? Have you eaten already?" William had his cold poker face back on. Grell couldn't even begin to decipher what he was thinking.

"No, I haven't." The red reaper announced, putting the reports back in place and stumbling to his feet. "I was waiting for you but you took so long..."

"I was taking care of some new recruits' reports. Honestly, they can't do anything right." William scolded, moving towards the kitchen.

"Don't be mean to them, we used to be like that when we first started too." Grell playfully chided, smiling as he recalled their first few weeks after they became reapers - of course, William had picked the pace up much faster than Grell, and so he moved up the ladder while the other was too busy fawning over some other shinigami's pretty face. "Oh?" The younger reaper smiled when he saw the candles on the table. "My, my, Will! A candlelit dinner? How romantic of you!"

"Don't. The lights went out."

"Oh..." Grell's smile faded and a disappointed look crossed his eyes for a brief second. No matter how quick, though, William noticed it still. Quietly, they sat down to have dinner, the only sounds being the rain against the window and the occasional crackle from the fire in the fireplace.

"Why?" Grell's voice broke the silence between them. He didn't need to say anything else, William understood the question: why did you do this? Why did you go through the trouble? Why are you caring for me when you never do?

"You were working. You fell asleep when you should've been cooking this yourself." Grell hummed an acknowledgement, returning his attention to his food. That was it. It wasn't because he cared, it wasn't because he liked him. It was because he had been working, so William wouldn't have to do as much overtime as he did. It was because he forgot to make dinner himself. It tore at Grell's heart, but he wouldn't admit it. The silence settled again, but it was a different silence. It wasn't so much as awkward as it was hurt. William noticed it and was unsettled by it. "You deserved it. You've been working hard lately. I've never seen you work this hard. So you deserved a recognition. Sorry it was so simple." He could tell that Grell's mood lifted, his eyes were shining brighter now, and there was a small smile playing at his lips.

The rest of the dinner went by uneventful, and though the silence was back, it was a comfortable one. When they were done, Grell stood up and took their plates to the sink, then turning around and leaning with his back against the counter, smiling down at William.

"Thank you." Grell said. The dark haired reaper shook his head as if to say, don't mention it. "Say, Will, do you ever let loose? Do you ever stop acting like you're supposed to and do something crazy?"

"Never." Was his answer. Short and effective, just like himself. Honestly, he had a reputation to maintain! And where was Grell getting at?

"Well..." Grell started, crouching by his side to be at his level and cupping his face with his hands. William's eyes and expression shouted "what the hell are you doing?", but Grell just ignored it. "Here's the problem with never." He said, and pressed his lips firmly against William's. The other didn't respond at first, but then he pushed him away, making Grell fall on the floor.

"Sutcliff! What are you _thinking_!" The shock and anger was clearly written across his face.

"That was my payback for the lovely dinner." Grell winked and stood up, moving to leave the room. William jolted to his feet immediately after, making the chair stumble and fall. The sound startled Grell and made him turn around. At that point, William did the only thing that crossed his mind: he cupped Grell's face with his hands and fiercely smashed their lips together in a harsh, clumsy kiss that took Grell by surprise.

"W-Will?" Grell called out, watching Will head for the door without saying another word. "Will, wait! What does this..."

"Nothing. Forget about it." He said, not stopping.

"William, wait!" Grell said, reaching for William's wrist to stop him. "First you push me away, then you kiss me. I'm confused!"

"Look, I don't know either, okay?" William snapped, turning back to face him. "Sometimes I can't stand you and other times I just want you in bed with me! First you're fawning over someone and I don't even want to see your face, but then you do something - like working late or fall asleep on the couch - and I want to make you mine! I don't know what to do about this!"

"Do you love me?"

"What?"

"Do you love me or not?" Grell asked, dead serious, raising his voice a little.

"I..." William was confused. "No! ...Yes, I... I don't know!" Grell sighed.

"William... If you want me by your side, as your lover, I'll be there. I'll be faithful. But if you don't... Don't play with my heart." William looked down.

"I...I don't know what to do about this..." He repeated. "I honestly don't know." William's sincerely confused look tore at Grell's heart. HE wanted to snap at him, force him to make a decision, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. So he did the only thing he could think of: he kissed him. It was a gentle, chaste kiss, but it conveyed all his emotions.

"What if I tell you I love you? Will that change anything?"

"You'll say you love any fool who's handsome and clever." William said, regretting having said it immediately after the words crossed his lips, when he saw Grell's eyes widen in shock.

"Is that what you think of me? What, that I'm some kind of dirty _whore_ who'll spread her legs to the first pretty face who asks? That I'm _that_ easy!" Grell was furious. William was so...contradicting!

"No, Grell, I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." William started, raising his hands in a defensive manner, but was cut short by the red male.

"I know exactly what you meant, _William_." He practically spat his name. "You're a bastard." Grell said, shaking his head and heading for the door. He was disappointed, to say the least, at William.

"Grell, please, listen to me." He called out, reaching for his arm to stop him.

"Let me go!" He said, trying to pull his arm free of William's grip.

"Listen to me!" William finally snapped, shouting with such fury that made Grell still and look at him with wide eyes. After a moment, William let go of Grell's arm to cup his face with both hands, standing close to him so that their chests were barely touching. Without saying a word, he closed the distance between them by pressing their lips together. HE planted a few light kisses all over Grell's face: his lips, his cheeks, his nose, his jaw, then back to his lips for a deeper, longer kiss. Grell moaned and closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around William's waist. The dark haired reaper ran his tongue across Grell's bottom lip, asking permission to enter his mouth, which the red shinigami granted, allowing William's tongue to slip past his teeth to explore Grell's warm cave.

Grell didn't know what to think anymore. William was confusing him so much... The feel of his tongue in his mouth was bliss, but after he had implied he was a slut... He couldn't tell if he really did want him or if he was just using him, playing him as a toy.

"I don't know what I feel about you." William whispered against his lips when they finally broke the kiss. "I just know that I want to hold you and kiss you. I don't want anyone else to kiss your lips." And so much more he just couldn't say. I want to feel you underneath me, your warmth against mine. I want that passion and fire or yours to be directed to me only. I want _you_. Grell smiled and lowered his head, hiding his face in his shoulder.

"In short, you want me to be yours. You do know they call that love, don't you?"

"...So is that how they call it, huh?" William murmured, wrapping his arms tightly around Grell, holding him close, feeling his heart beat against his in a near-perfect synchrony. "If that's the case, then I think I love you, Grell Sutcliff." Grell let out a strangled cry of happiness, shifting his arms to press his body closer to William's, basking in his warmth. Finally, he was being treated with the kindness and love he thought he deserved.

"No more Sebas-chan, then." He said. "No more Undertaker. I'm yours. Only." William smiled and pulled back to pick Grell up bridal-style. He blew out the candles while the red reaper giggled and wrapped his arms around his neck as he carried him to his bedroom, to his bed, and to the warmth of their naked bodies pressed together.

William didn't even bother lighting candles in his room. The rain had subsided a while ago and the clouds had opened just enough to let the moon shine through the window, casting a soft blue light across the room. He laid Grell on the bed ever so gently, climbing on top of him slowly, dragging his hands across his thighs, stomach and chest until he could kiss his jaw and mouth all over again.

Grell moaned against William's lips, making the taller reaper shiver from the vibrations. The red head fumbled with the buttons on William's shirt, undoing it before pulling it down his shoulders. William made sure not to break their kiss while he did the same, exposing Grell's chest. He pulled back to admire the sigh of a very flushed Grell underneath him. They were both panting, and they probably had the same look on their face, wanting more. He ran his fingertips across Grell's collarbone before diving towards it, sucking and marking it, making the other gasp.

The red reaper pushed him away just enough to allow him to go for his nipples, sucking gently at them, being careful not to cut him with his teeth. The breath William let out when he did that made Grell's whole body shiver, and he let go of William's chest to seek his lips again, while the other's hands moved down his chest and navel to undo the buttons on his pants. Grell did the same and soon they were completely bare, exposed to each other, both their members hard and their eyes dark with lust.

They stopped for a moment to take in the sight of the other's naked body before them. Then, Grell smiled - it wasn't a perverted smile, or a kinky one, it was a kind smile - and took William's hand to his chest, letting him feel his heartbeat, before taking it to his mouth and licking his fingers before taking them completely in their mouth. William could only watch in some sort of trance, feeling the other's teeth scrape his fingers ever so slightly. The redhead let himself fall back on the bed, William's hand still in his mouth, dragging him down with him. William shifted so they were laying side-by-side, pushing Grell's hair away from his face while he watched him, blushing.

He was so lovely...

He snapped back from his rapture when Grell opened his eyes to look at him. They were exceptionally bright at that moment. Without saying a word, Grell moved down on William's body, planting butterfly kisses all over his chest and stomach, occasionally dipping his tongue in his bellybutton before moving further down to take William's arousal in his hands. He kissed the tip, making William gasp, before running his hot tongue all over it, from the base to the tip, in one long lick.

Slowly, sensually, he went down on William, deep-throating him as much as he could. The dark haired reaper tried hard to suppress his moans, but his self-restrain was focused on preventing his hips from bucking towards Grell, so a few of them still escaped his lips, mixed together with his panting. He could feel Grell's smile against his hard member, that is, until he let go of it with a soft "pop". Looking down to meet the other's eyes, William was greeted with that gentle smile of his again as he moved up to press their lips together once more.

"Hey..." Grell whispered, feeling William's hands travelling down his body already. "...Go easy on me, will you?" The shy, nervous confession made William smile, and he held him closer, pressing their cheeks together and taking in the smell of Grell's hair.

"I will, don't worry." He said. Gently, he pressed one of the fingers Grell had coated with saliva against his entrance, making the shorter reaper gasp and hold on to William tighter, his nails digging on his shoulders. "Relax." Grell nodded and let out an acknowledgement sound, trying to take a deep breath. The other felt his muscles relax around his finger and slid it further in, twisting it around, making the redhead shiver. When he felt Grell's body get used to him, he slid another finger inside, and then another, stretching him. He doubted Grell was a virgin - they were both too old and Grell was too fast to surrender his heart for that - but he was tight nonetheless.

"Nghh, Will!" Grell cried out, a tear escaping his eyes when William touched his prostate. "Don't tease me! J-just... Come inside..." He breathed out, opening his eyes to look at William. The dark haired man swallowed his saliva (dear lord Grell's eyes were _amazing_) and nodded. Slowly, he removed his fingers as Grell straddled him, positioning his member at his entrance. William propped himself up on his elbows to pull him down for a kiss while Grell impaled himself on William's member, making them both gasp at the sensation. Grell went down on him slowly, adjusting his body to it as he buried Will's cock up to the hilt inside himself. Panting, the red reaper smiled and took the other's hand in his, taking it to his own cock, stroking it together.

"Grell..." William breathed out, looking up to meet the other reaper's eyes above him. Suddenly, he didn't know why, but the sight of Grell smiling, sweating, his hair clinging to his skin, his nipples hard while he rode him at his own pace made an intense wave of passion hit him, and he couldn't move fast enough to cup his face and bring him down for a deep, passionate kiss. Grell smiled against his lips, returning his kiss just as passionately.

He loved him. It was true, and there was no denying it anymore. It was improper and out of line, for a superior to fall for his subordinate, but he couldn't bring himself to care anymore. He'd shout it to the world if need be. The selfish part of him wanted to rub on Sebastian's face just what he was missing - really, how could he not love a creature as beautiful as Grell? Sure, he had flaws, but let the one who has no flaws throw the first stone.

Grell, on the other hand, couldn't be happier. Finally, _finally_, he was getting the love he thought he deserved, and not just pouring his heart to someone who could not - or would not - love him back. He knew William, he knew he'd be there in the morning, and should he not be there, he would most likely be in the kitchen making breakfast for both, maybe even to bring it to him so they could eat in bed.

With a jerk of his hips, William's member rammed Grell's prostate, breaking them of their contemplation to bring them back to the present. Grell threw his head back, his hair cascading and his chest rising and falling in small puffs as he called out William's name almost desperately, his fingers digging on his thighs.

"Oh... Oh dear God, Will!" He shouted, increasing their pace. "D-do that again! Do that again!" William couldn't help but oblige. He was already at his limit and the speed at which Grell took his pleasure wasn't helping. "WILL!" Grell finally cried out, his whole body shaking with spasms as a wave of pleasure washed over him, making him come all over his stomach. The way his muscles clenched around him after he came was too much for William to handle, and he came as well, filling Grell up with his white-hot seed.

They both collapsed on the bed after that. They were too sweaty and too tired to move at all, save for Grell's cuddling up to William, resting his head on his chest. So they just laid there, basking in their afterglow while William ran his hand through Grell's locks and stroked his back.

"I love you..." Grell whispered out of the blue. William smiled, drifting to sleep immediately afterwards. The other man didn't take long to join him in dream land either.

But the best part was that Grell was indeed right. William was still there by his side when he woke up. It almost made him cry, knowing that at last, somebody cared - and not just that whole "don't kill yourself!" kind of care the Phantomhive servants had given him, but actual _love_, for all that he was and wasn't. And Grell loved William for that.


End file.
